my story

Hello and welcome to Building the Bond Postpartum Doula Services. I’m so happy you stopped by to meet me. Let me tell you a little about myself.

Since I was a little girl I’ve been fascinated with babies. I gravitated toward pregnant women and infants. There was a big age difference between me and my cousins, some were even old enough to be married and were starting their own families. Whenever I was lucky enough to spend time with them- holidays, family gatherings- I never left their side. I watched everything they did with their babies, from bathing and diapering to feeding. Especially feeding. Some of my cousins were breastfeeding, and I was completely enthralled by the idea a woman’s body can grow a baby and then feed him or her. Having those experiences with my cousins and their babies were so important. I watched young mothers care for their infants and young fathers loving everything about being a dad—both proud of the person they created.

Whenever someone asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said the same thing, without hesitation “a mom.” Throughout high school I worked as a babysitter and ultimately a nanny. When I graduated high school, I realized I couldn’t take a degree in “Mom” in college so I studied early childhood education and worked as a lead Head Start teacher. I continued my education and earned by bachelor’s degree in elementary education and psychology. All the while wishing I would someday be lucky enough to be a parent.

And when that finally happened… I was shocked by how difficult it was. Nothing about my birthing experience was how I had imagined it. I was sure all of my experience as a babysitter, nanny and educator had fully prepared me for this moment. My pregnancy was uneventful until the last few weeks when we discovered our baby was in a dangerous breech position.

When our son’s birth was scheduled, I saw everything about it change. Surgery meant pain and that scared me. After his birth, he cried a lot, almost as if he was protesting his arrival into the world. My husband and I were both frightened and feeling out of our league. Looking back, I know we both would have benefited tremendously from the guidance and input from a postpartum doula. 

We were given all sorts of advice: “Give him formula, he’ll sleep.” “Let him cry it out.” “Don’t hold him so much, you’ll spoil him”. We never felt like we were knew what we were doing and felt like we were failing at this thing called “parenthood.” I had this notion that in order to be a perfect mom, I had to do everything right. I had to be the one who quieted my son when he cried. I had to be the one who cleaned our home, made the meals, kept up with the laundry. And when I couldn’t do those things, because surgical birth meant pain and I had to rest. I needed help and didn’t know how to ask for it—or even what to ask for.  It was painful, and I was very sad. My ability to bond with our son was hindered by all of those negative thoughts and feelings.

Then I discovered I was pregnant with our daughter—just six months after giving birth to our son.  I couldn’t imagine having a second baby.  I couldn’t imagine how I would ever love a second child when I was feeling so horrible about how I was doing with our first child.  I did however, speak up and tell my OB I wanted to try for a vaginal birth.  If possible, I didn’t want any medication and I wanted to breastfeed.  I told everyone around me if they couldn’t support my desire to breastfeed they should keep their opinions to themselves.  I needed all positive energy in order for it to be successful the second time around.  By the time our daughter was born, I learned to advocate for myself.

My second birth experience was so different and so wonderful. Since she was born VBAC, I was able to start breastfeeding immediately. We figured it out, together. Even though our second experience was better, we still could have benefited from an extra set of loving hands. Our son had sensory issues and we discovered, after we brought her home, he couldn’t handle the sound of her crying. He would cry every time she cried. My mom instinct was telling me to help him first, but I knew if I could feed her, he’d settle too. Eventually, through trial and error, we devised a plan to handle those feedings. We learned her cues, we created a “feeding basket” so our son had something to snack on and a video to watch when she was eating. We all cuddled in together for those moments.

We figured it out on our own, but new parents shouldn’t have to. Every mom and dad need a support system. Postpartum doulas are just one link in that chain of support. We are there to listen, guide, help, love, encourage and empower. We make meals because staying nourished those early days of parenthood is imperative. We guide infant feeding, whether you choose to breastfeed, or formula feed we are there to help. We handle household tasks until you and your partner can do it on your own. We watch over you and your partner--“mothering the mother and the father” because everyone needs to be loved through challenging days. A postpartum doula is the person you need by your side to guide you. I hope you’ll consider reaching out to me to be your postpartum doula.

Meredith Swierczynski
DONA-Trained Postpartum Doula
Burbank, CA
meredith@buildingthebonddoula.com